IS HAVING A BOYFRIEND 'REPUBLICAN' NOW? WHY SOME WOMEN THINK SO

Newsweek Exclusive Feature

A viral post sparked debate over dating in a politically polarized era.

A single sentence online has reignited a cultural debate that has been simmering for months.

“Why does having a boyfriend feel Republican,” @raeisrotting asked on Threads.

The question quickly amassed 8,000 likes, sparking a comment section brimming with agreement, disbelief, satire, stereotypes and confusion.

Few commenters nodded along, arguing that centering romantic partnership—particularly heterosexual ones—now feels out of step with values many young women prize and could disadvantage them.

"Being a girlfriend is the worst position to be in as a woman...The most underpaid and unappreciated position that conditions you to audition for people..." one commenter wrote.

Others pushed back, calling the question bizarre, or accusing it of squeezing political persuasions into lazy stereotypes. Some suggested the conversation starter itself reveals a narrow worldview, one that assumes liberal identity is inextricably tied to rejecting traditional relationship conventions.

Why Are Boyfriends Being Politicized?

Sandra Myers, co‑founder and president of the matchmaking firm Select Date Society, said the framing says more about online signaling than real-world ideology.

“Labeling a young person's pursuit of a relationship as one party or the other reflects more social media's influence and the ideological signaling prevalent than party affiliation,” she told Newsweek.

Still, she acknowledged why the association exists.

“Republicans are known for traditional values," she said.

For Myers, the resurgence of relationship‑seeking behavior, even if labeled "Republican" adjacent by some, is a byproduct of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“The need for human connection is back [and] not just a unique party affiliation,” she said. “After COVID‑19, most Gen Zers gained an understanding of the importance of having a partner; hence, the movement toward committed, long‑term relationships and more traditional values.”

Celebrity couple, Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner at the 81st Golden Globe Awards on January 7, 2024 in Beverly Hills, California. Credit: GETTY IMAGES

Partnership, she added, can offer a "sense of safety."

At the same time, Myers sees a generation overwhelmed by contradictory messaging. Young people, she said, endure an "onslaught" of media propaganda and signaling every day, making identity alignment unstable and confusing. In that environment, relationships become symbols rather than experiences, and people respond to theory rather than reality.

Many Gen Z women, she added, focus on themselves, their career and independence not because they reject intimacy, but because they want control and satisfaction in an unpredictable world.

“Most will admit that if they could meet someone who would enhance their world, it would be most welcome,” she said.

Sara Sloan, a marriage, family and sex therapist, said that the word “boyfriend” itself has been transformed.

“A lot of young women associate having a boyfriend with traditional values,” she told Newsweek. “A boyfriend is seen as the last step before engagement and marriage.”

In that framing, having a boyfriend signals a trajectory, often toward marriage and motherhood, that many liberal-leaning women are wary

of. Sloan believes the tradwife movement has intensified this polarization.

“The term ‘boyfriend’ has been repurposed by conservatives, which is why liberal women are rejecting it,” she said.

She also pointed to a growing ideological divide between Gen Z men and women, noting that men appear to be moving toward more conservative values, while women appear more liberal. She cited Season 8 of Love Is Blind, where a cast member declined marriage due to their match's political standings.

The Conversation Online

The Threads post, from February 3, did not emerge in a vacuum.

In 2025, Vogue published a widely shared piece questioning whether having a boyfriend had become “embarrassing.” The feature echoed loudly online, leading to a flurry of TikTok videos and first-person penned Substack's in response.

In many ways, U.S. women today have access to more freedom than their ancestors did, through careers, independence, autonomy and pleasure, but some feel that publicly choosing a boyfriend, or presenting him as central to one’s identity, could look like a retreat from freedom rather than an expansion of it.

Being cool, the internet decided, meant being wholly oneself and complete even in the face of relationships. By that logic, the boyfriend, to some, began to look uncool, earnest, even vaguely school‑like.

Now, that judgment has shifted into something more ideological, which one TikTok creator, @marinscogg, pointed out in October, 2025.

But as many women openly reject social norms and reassess whether coupling up meaningfully serves them, another digital current is flowing in parallel.

The tradwife movement remains visible online and right-leaning values feel more mainstream. A 2025 Yale University poll revealed that

younger members of Gen Z are more likely to swing Republican when voting in 2026 congressional elections. In the face of the "Is Having

A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now" debate, several women took to platforms like TikTok to share their belief that while dating someone is

drab, having a "husband"—often dangling theirs in shot wearing expensive clothing while clutching roses or treating them to dinners out—is very desirable.

For many women, Sloan said, rejecting a boyfriend mirrors their rejection of marriage itself.

“Women are rejecting having a boyfriend, because they don't want the responsibility of taking care of anyone else,” she said.

Kayla Crane runs a couple's therapy practice in Colorado. She said the political overlay obscures the real issue.

“The boyfriend isn't the problem,” she told Newsweek. “The expectation that women carry everything in a relationship is the problem.”

Opting out, she said, can feel empowering—not because women want permanent solitude, but because they are tired of picking up the emotional labor.

“Everything is political now," Crane said.

But, she added, “marriage doesn't make me a conservative any more than being single makes someone a liberal.”

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