WOMAN ASKS WHY MEN 'ESCAPED' MANOSPHERE, LEFT SHOCKED BY RESPONSES

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“I stopped listening to podcast bros and started listening to therapists,” one of the anonymous respondents said.

The manosphere has been a burning issue over the past few years, with its inner workings becoming the subject of podcasts, think pieces and even the acclaimed Netflix series, Adolescence.

Despite the huge interest, its cryptic world has been difficult to understand, with some journalists going undercover in manosphere forums to learn the kind of mentality they foster. But one woman has managed to draw some critical information to add to existing intrigue and research into the subculture.

"Men [and] boys who have escaped the manosphere, what was it that made you realize you were down the pipeline and what helped you get out," Ash Bartolo, from Australia, asked in a candid post to TikTok.

To her surprise, her 5-second post was inundated with responses from men who claim to have once been members of the manosphere. Bartolo was taken aback by the raw replies—all of which came from TikTok users keeping their full identities off their profiles. The post has amassed over 4,500 comments, with reasons for disillusionment ranging from learning about sexual assault to making female friends.

Bartolo is the founder of the Human State, an online space where she encourages visitors to think critically about social issues and concepts.

"My [question] was born from curiosity and a desire to understand, with the goal of opening space for healthier, more meaningful discussion on a topic that is often met with polarizing, defensive, and unproductive discourse," Bartolo (@humanstatewithash) told Newsweek. "The responses illustrate how deeply patriarchy and misogyny are embedded in our culture, and how these systems affect everyone.

"Many responses highlight entitlement, resentment, emotional repression, and a lack of relational skills being culturally reinforced before exposure to the manosphere, creating fertile ground for its influence.

"But what became clear is that the labor of repair disproportionately falls onto women."

What Is the Manosphere?

The manosphere is a male-centric ecosystem of male-authored blogs, social media channels and websites. While it fosters a variety of ideologies, it has been deemed a harmful purveyor of male-supremacy and misogyny.

Platforms and figures within the manosphere concern themselves with topics ranging from men's rights to relationships. Although some key actors within the manosphere have been deemed harmless, others—and their large online communities—have been criticized for platforming controversial, regressive and extreme views.

As the gender politics landscape began to change in the 2010s—with phrases like "male privilege," "rape culture," and the #MeToo movement taking off, in tandem with the rise of social media—some men, feeling confused and victimized searched for comfort and validation within the manosphere, which was swiftly taking shape on Reddit.

One phrase thrown around in manosphere-related conversations is the "red pill," a metaphor from The Matrix about becoming aware of reality, which now represents a rite of passage within the manosphere in which new recruits 'awaken' to what they deem to be a reality where feminism oppresses men, traditional masculine roles are eroded and men need to adopt extreme behaviors to survive.

Often grouped within the manosphere are involuntary celibates. It is widely believed that those who frequent manosphere communities online absorb the sexist attitudes and misogynistic language they see, which can escalate to violence offline.

Several cases point to the prevailing of misogyny among young men in the U.S. and Europe. The family of Giulia Cecchettin, who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend in 2023 after she broke up with him, constantly speak out about the dangers of online misogyny. Following the murder of Gabby Petito, incels had taken to forums to pledge support for her killer, Brian Laundrie.

Manosphere rhetoric now reaches school playgrounds, which is why Bartolo felt compelled to spark discussion.

"My intention was not to excuse destructive ideologies, but to examine the conditions that allow them...And see what disrupts them," she said. "Without identifying the root causes of misogyny and radicalization, harm simply continues to reproduce.

"That healthy dialogue requires radical honesty and a willingness to sit with discomfort, accountability and self-reflection."

That self-reflection has led to many previously unheard accounts from men on why they exited the manosphere.

"I don’t know a single woman or girl who hasn’t been subject to [sexual assault]," one man said.

"Just seeing how quick we are to blame women for everything," another added.

"Having female friends and learning how they actually view men and relationships," another commented.

"Watching my mother clean at 10 p.m. on a weekday after my dad's friends had been over," another shared.

"I was lucky enough to be born poor and raised by a good woman," another added, while another commented: "Reddit weirdly enough. I stumbled upon r/askwomenover30. I saw them talk about how men mistreated them, and I saw a lot of myself in those men. One day I was like 'maybe I'm the bad guy here.'"

"Listening to the women in my life instead of trying to make them listen to me," another said.

"I stopped listening to podcast bros and started listening to therapists," another added.

Still, not everyone was satisfied with the responses.

"Still looking for the comment about 'realizing women are actually people,'" one viewer commented.

John Puls is a psychotherapist based in Florida. He told Newsweek that the manosphere is an ever-growing area of concern and "a threat to society."

"Men are drawn to this due to feeling like they’ve lost their place in society," he said. "People often leave after they realize the manosphere is causing them to be further isolated and hateful."

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